The Kids
“Is this really what’s best for your kids?”
I just stared at the person who asked me this question with my mouth hanging open until the rage took over and I let them know they needed to leave my house.
All I thought about for 4 years was the impact that me leaving my marriage would have on my children, family and friends.
I worked so hard to maintain the perfect, happy family appearance. I handmade Birthday invitations and staged beautiful Christmas card photos and posted photos of our home cooked, healthy meals and I made statuses about how great my life was, how blessed I was, and then I would cry myself to sleep, alone.
When you’ve built up a lie that big, it’s hard to tell the truth.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but I was making myself sick pretending things were fine.
My children deserve better than that.
My children deserve a happy mom.
A mom who shows them that it’s okay to be happy with who you are, exactly how you are and not be afraid to live.
It’s okay to walk away from mistakes, no matter how long you spent making them.
Is it hard to not have my kids every night? Yes. Absolutely.
Is it painful to lose precious time with them? Hell yes. Are you kidding me?
This hasn’t been easy for any of us. It’s been an adjustment, and we’re still learning what works and what doesn’t.
But I am a better mom now, hands down. I’m no longer trying to maintain this perfect image, which has shifted my entire parenting style. I’m more present. I’m more laid back. I say yes to a lot more, within reason of course.
And honestly, I deserve to be my best self too.
After all, I’m still a person outside of being a parent.
Awkwardly yours,
Meg
I just stared at the person who asked me this question with my mouth hanging open until the rage took over and I let them know they needed to leave my house.
All I thought about for 4 years was the impact that me leaving my marriage would have on my children, family and friends.
I worked so hard to maintain the perfect, happy family appearance. I handmade Birthday invitations and staged beautiful Christmas card photos and posted photos of our home cooked, healthy meals and I made statuses about how great my life was, how blessed I was, and then I would cry myself to sleep, alone.
When you’ve built up a lie that big, it’s hard to tell the truth.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but I was making myself sick pretending things were fine.
My children deserve better than that.
My children deserve a happy mom.
A mom who shows them that it’s okay to be happy with who you are, exactly how you are and not be afraid to live.
It’s okay to walk away from mistakes, no matter how long you spent making them.
Is it hard to not have my kids every night? Yes. Absolutely.
Is it painful to lose precious time with them? Hell yes. Are you kidding me?
This hasn’t been easy for any of us. It’s been an adjustment, and we’re still learning what works and what doesn’t.
But I am a better mom now, hands down. I’m no longer trying to maintain this perfect image, which has shifted my entire parenting style. I’m more present. I’m more laid back. I say yes to a lot more, within reason of course.
And honestly, I deserve to be my best self too.
After all, I’m still a person outside of being a parent.
Awkwardly yours,
Meg
One this I realized after leaving my ex is that children are very resilient! Also, the feel what you feel. It's there little naive intuition. They can feel the difference in your happiness and THAT is whats best for your kids. Teaching them to stand up for their own happiness and peace of mind is a lesson that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDelete